Thursday, May 14, 2009

Nothing Last For Ever

I don't even know where to begin. The pain I feel inside is a different kind of pain. I don't feel sorrow nor sadness, it's a numb sensation. I know his presence won't be around any more and at times I feel as if that's something I can't bare. I'm used to him, everything about him is a daily routine. A sense of comfort. A routine I have accepted over the years. But deep down inside, some where in my heart, I know this is the best thing for both of us. For us to part and live separate lives, live and enjoy life the way its meant to be with out anything holding us back.

I feel relieved, I know I'm not that woman, I refuse to be worried about another person day and night. A relationship shouldn't be that way. Trust is an important factor in life. Its the backbone to any relationship, the only thing that holds two people together. I let too many things slide by and I have to draw a line some point in time. Or else he would've kept doing the same thing over and over again because "P" always gave him the green light. When the entire time, I had to stand up to what I knew was right. He didn't respect what I wanted, my concerns, my advice, that ease that wouldn't let me sleep at night. All along he and I knew it was better to be apart but people can be so ignorant when it comes to love. They ignore all the facts and just sit along for the ride.

In my eyes, days will become weeks, and weeks will feel like months but its just another obstacle to overcome. I'm able to walk away from this relationship knowing I gave it my all. I provided that unconditional love, friendship, and support. And I will never regret all those years, even if I felt pain here and there, it's just part of life. He has a beautiful heart and a good head on his shoulders. I could see through that man, see what no one else could. Good luck with everything old friend. Peace.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your pain will heal Pearl ... time heals almost everything. You might never forget him ... but you will be able to move on ... You always have ... and hopefully you will move on to greater things!!
Love,
Your Madrina : )

Anonymous said...

Time heals only what truly mattered in life. I couldn't agree more! Good luck with evrything P.

Anonymous said...

Oh Pearl. it's hard it is. we've all been through it. i like, wait, love the fact that you recognize you deserve happiness, deserve only love and trust; and not to be hurt.

you need a man.

you need to see clearly when the rain is gone.

he may be your soul-mate.

and soul-mates will never make it... they're too much alike. have i sent you that writing about soul mates? i'll send it to you.

be strong ma. lift your face up towards the sun and focus on you... your happiness, the happiness of that lil guy you've got at home.

i've come to the conclustion now: that i am a woman, a woman who deserves to smile.

and someone who makes me frown and shed tears more than laugh and cry because i'm so thrilled... is not what i deserve
-trace.

Anonymous said...

Thank U Trace!!!!