Friday, March 4, 2011

Don't Lose Yourself Through It All

I’m writing this to you because I said I would. So here I go G.

As the days and months passed by we noticed a change in you, a change for the better honestly. You smiled more and laughed even more. And you had that look in your eyes, the look of a fifteen year old who experienced love for the first time. Her first lover, her first kiss, her first everything. You were willing to sacrifice so much for this man. Your job, your friendship with him, your co-workers, yet, you let your heart lead the way. With his psychotic ex trailing every move, you still kept your hopes up. Positivity runs sturdy through your veins so you kept seeing him. And your love for him continued to grow. More months passed by and the crazy ex still lingers. And you questioned it? What is he saying to her? Why won’t she just leave him alone? Your questions went unanswered for months until one day, like a foggy morning, things cleared up and the truth was revealed. But you still stayed because your heart can’t be wrong again right? If it’s worth it then it worth fighting for right? But what happens when the fight isn’t equally balanced? You lose G. You lose yourself. And you can’t afford that right now. You have your daughters and your self value as a woman to take care of, to respond too. You put two hundred percent into that relationship, he was lucky to have you. But he still decided to go back. No man in his right mind, or even a completely cynical one, would choose to be with a woman like her over you. And you have to get that through your head G. Your so much better then both of them combined, the level of maturity that your state of being is at is completely unreachable. Let him go. And let them continue with their idiotic, senseless, zany, relationship. But get yourself out of it while you still can.

Your heart will heal over time. Even if it takes years or months, time is the only remedy for a devastated, heart. And I can throw plenty of other senteces of how hurt you are but lets be real here, I can't feel what you're feeling. No one can. Only you and your heart can. But remember one important thing. Don’t ever harden G. Don’t give anybody that benefit. Continue to love, allow yourself to fall in love again. Because a life without love, without compassion, without fear of that “what if” isn’t a life at all. It’s just a world with bullshit and more bullshit.

I love you pretty lady. You’re like the older sister I never had. And I look up to you. Use that strength of yours and carry this load like its nothing. "Sometimes proving something to yourself is the hardest thing you can do." Hope to see you Monday.

Sincerely Always 
Perla Q

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