This Is My Everyday Battle

March 08, 2012

Sugar is his weakness.
And his will isn't where it was at fifteen years ago.
He grabbed the last three cookies from the jar and before he had the chance to place them on his plate,
I snatched them from his hand.
I knew he would rage.
But I also know that I have the will to keep him alive a little longer.
And I wouldn't let three cookies be the cause of his death.
Not on my watch.
He raged.
And I ran outside and threw the cookies in the yard.
He followed.
But with his poor vision, he couldn't make one shadow out of the night.
He cursed and yelled.
I sat there and took it.
He swore up and down on his mother.
I remained sitting there in silence.
He stumbled to his room and slammed the door behind him.
I've won this battle.
I saved him from getting an earful.
O' he would hear it alright.
You can't hide your sugar intake when your finger is jabbed three times a day by my mother.
His sugar level would have sky rocketed so high, he'd find another galaxy in the process.
He didn't come out of his room till he heard my mother yelling as she walked through the door,
"Oye, levantate."
(Hun, wake up)
She had the blood sugar monitor in her hand.
He sat up on his bed.
And like a push pin that's use to getting pricked by a needle.
Not one gesture out of him.
Not one complaint.
I walked in and exclaimed,
"Esta enojado conmigo Ma. Le quite tres galletas y las tire en el bosque. Pero ni modo. Lo voy hacer manana, y el dia que sigue,  y el dia despues de ese dia. No voy a dejar que tres galletas me lo maten."
(He's mad at me Mom. I threw his cookies in the yard. I'd do it again. Over and over again. I'll be damned if I let him die over three cookies.)
She just laughed.
He looked at me. And smiled.
I kissed his forehead three times.
"I love you Daddy. I do it because I care for you."
And I walked out before they could see my eyes full of tears.
And this is my life everyday.
One day its cookies.
The next day its cereal.
And sometimes its and over sweetened soft drink.
Whatever the case.
I'm there lurking behind him making sure he eats right.
And I'll keep eaves dropping till' I can't anymore.
I'm keeping you alive.
Not on my watch.
That's my promise to you Dad.
Peace.


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