Monday, May 7, 2012

Because I Rather Write It, Then Say It

When I can't think, I write. When I feel like I'm losing control, I write. When all else fails, I write. It seems I'm driven by my own words. I express myself better that way. What I can't recite verbally, I can write relentlessly.


I just want you to know that I really don't want to know. I can't deal with a pack of idiots. I can deal with a pack of cigarettes any given day. Even if it kills me. But I can not deal with that. That will only kill me emotionally. If it was up to me, I'd make every single one of them disappear. Voilaaaa, so poof, vamoosh, son of a bitch. But I wasn't given such powers. I do however, have the serenity to change and avoid certain details in my life. And I'm editing that part of my life. He doesn't respect me, he never has. And even though I shouldn't take a walk down memory lane, maybe it's time I do. I can't express pain if I chose not to see it. I have to open these big ass brown eyes and accept the fact that I can't even keep him around as a friend. And I would never ask of you to keep away from him. Although, he has done so in the past. In that prospect, I am a little more mature. He will always do & say whatever the hell he wants, he's always been that way. Anyhow.

I love you. And I hope one day, your circle of friends is as confined as mine. Realize, that half of them aren't your real friends. And it's okay for people to dislike you, for them not to speak to you, for them to talk foully about you behind close doors, to give you the stink eye when they come around. It's okay. It really is. You can't please everybody. And some people aren't even worth pleasing. Even if it seems disappointing, sometimes the best thing to do is to just let them go. As long as YOU don't hold any hate in your heart towards them. Because hate works both ways. The poison will rotten you eventually. Thank you for your honesty and your kindness. Thank you for letting me have a piece of your mind, even if its the piece I don't want. I'd take honesty over deception any day. Piece of cake, piece of pie. Sisters by God's way, friends by heart.

Your Sies,

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