So Many Excuses, Just One Reason

July 12, 2012


I’ve been absent from school for over a year now. And I keep telling myself, “I’ll return next semester.” And these words became repetitive. The truth is. . . ever since my Father suffered his stroke last November, I am not valiant enough to leave him at home every other evening. I feel my place is at home with Him. But my Mother is right. I have to let go of that fear and continue onward with my education.

Although I am very much proud of my Associates in Science, I still have a semi-long way to go. Along the way I changed my mind as many pupils do. I went from wanting to become a Dental Hygienist, to doing what my heart really desires, which is teaching.

I’m just afraid of that call. I would hate to be sitting in class and receiving the same call I got last November. I’m pretty tough but when it comes to my Father I crumble so easily. I’ve spent half of my life watching Him sicken. And out of all my siblings I know I tend to Him the most. But I have to find a way to step it up and just leave it in God’s hands as we always have.

It feels good letting this out. It’s been way too long since I’ve had a heart to heart talk with myself.

It sounds bizarre but sometimes jotting down words that aren’t meant to be read is the only way to escape from denial. Peace.

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