Thursday, July 22, 2021

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Dealing with a narcissistic individual has been one of the hardest, most draining experiences in my lifetime. Luckily, I was able to do my research, disengage, and cut ties with this individual for good. As an empath, my nature is to try to understand and connect with people. And alike many other empaths' I tried to find the good in them.

A person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be anyone regardless of gender, sexuality, or religion. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to limit contact or if possible, have no contact at all. For victims of NPD, the emotional attachment is harder to cut loose than the actual contact itself. Another thing that I learned is not to engage. Do not take the bait, do not respond, do not try to defend yourself - nothing you say matters. They've made up their mind about you and in their eyes you're either a good or bad person, there's no in between. NPDs are not capable of change (even with professional help). 

They also feed of the attention you give them and have the energy to extort you. I also learned that most individuals with NPD are extremely fake and they thrive in social context. So, they're perceived as wonderful parents or great individuals on social media. But if you ever lived with an NPD you know that their mask comes off when they're at home. They only hold this "grand persona" in public, so it's very difficult to describe or even expose them to others. I personally learned that NPDs take a fraction of the truth and they twist it around. At times I even questioned myself and my very own judgement. Don’t fall for it! Lastly, their actions don't match their words.

Here is a few signs that you might be dealing with a narcissist:
  • They play the perpetual victim or have the victim mentality
  • Their demands are deemed to be an emergency, they want it right here, and now
  • They are pathological liars for no reason at all (distortion of facts)
  • They are self-centered and constantly thinking about their own needs (exaggerated sense of confidence or importance)
  • They have a sense of entitlement or superiority (always right, better than others)
  • They are manipulative and controlling (use emotions to manipulate, even use their children as a mean of control)
  • They need constant admiration and like to be the center of attention (like to be praised)
  • They have difficulty taking feedback (overreact to any criticism)
  • They are easily wounded (quick to get angry or they frequently feel wronged by others)
  • They start drama or conflicts with others for no reason
  • They are irresponsible with money
  • They are extremely manipulative
  • They will never admit their mistakes (blame others for their mistakes)
  • They are proficient at gaslighting
Victims of NPD are capable of healing, but it requires a lot of work and dedication. These victims suffer from severe emotional trauma from years of verbal and mental abuse. Their self-worth is also compromised and stripped away. As a future mental health advocate it's important to raise awareness. Unfortunately, this disorder is rarely diagnosed. Here are two main reasons why it's overlooked:
  1. NPDs don't believe there's anything wrong with their behavior. 
  2. They're easily insulted or they feel attacked when they're asked or suggested to get professional help.
If you’re dating someone with these characteristic (red flags) find a way to disengage. If you have to deal with an NPD, set boundaries, limit contact, and take care of your mental health.

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