Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Chuck & Blair

As usual I'm just going to blah away. Right now I find myself in a tough situation. And I have no one to blame but myself. The choices I've made are solemnly mine. One thing and one scenario only, comes to mind on this windy night. And it occurred a few days ago. You see the thing is, no matter what I never feel guilty about it. I don't know if he does. But as fast as it happens, is just as fast as I forget about it. I finally caught up with one of my favorite shows, Gossip Girl, and Chuck and Blair's relationship reminds me a lot of us. The previous us, the present us, and the future us if I allow it. And if you know anything about their relationship, well then you know it's not a healthy one. I watched Monday's episode and tears streamed down my face. I felt the same way. I feel like I have to let go too. I can tell myself over and over again that I don't love him anymore, that all the damage has expanded this hole in my heart, but alike Chuck and Blair, there is no escaping each other. The love she has for Chuck who is the love of her life, for goodness sakes, it's always Chuck. Well there love is complicated, it's not a walk in the park, they fight and argue constantly, they've hurt each other constantly but there mad about one another. Madly in love. He has hurt her in ways that I can't even bring myself to type about because after all it is a fiction series. And stuff like that doesn't happen normally. But then there's the common adventures almost every man explores. The cheating, the lying, all the secrets. BUT ITS ALWAYS CHUCK & BLAIR. She's met another man, a prince actually, and he treats her as a princess himself. And she loves him. But you see, this love between them is easy, on going happiness, something she's not use too. But an obvious choice to the audience, to the people that know her in and out, the prince is the one. Regardless, this brings me back to Chuck and Blair, no matter how much time passes or the distance between them, they will always love each other. And I comprehend and feel this type of love from time to time. As selfish as this might sound, it's the honest truth.

Finally, I want the kind of love I read in my books, never perfect but never completely tragic, just the right doze of bliss happiness, with a tad of "it happens", one day I'll put down the novels & allow myself to be consumed or drawn in by love again. Till' then, it's just good books after good books and watching my son grow up. I still have this guard up and I don't feel competent enough to break it down just yet. I'm happy  with my life right now. Everything happens for a reason. Everything is everything. Peace.

"Happiness shines through the windows of your soul and it radiates throughout the entire world." 


Anonymous said...

That's beautiful. You seriously need to write a novel.


PQT said...

Soon. I promise. :))