Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Episodic Insomnia

"Don't stress that 'cause it's not in your bloodstream, your whole being comes from greatness." 
A Tribe Called Quest

Have you ever laid in your bed with your eyes wide open? Even with the lights off, you can make out a few shadows here and there; and there either dancing gracefully or mocking you. I don’t do it very often. I usually go to bed when I’m tremendously tired. I’m so tired that it doesn’t even give me time to wonder. Why else would I just lay there for? Who in there right mind takes pleasure of staring into nothing while raging divinely inside? It’s a nuisance!

Last night I had a lot on my mind. I even tried what Botch recommended. But instead of smoking a cigarette, I jumped in the shower and I let the hot water cloud my vision with all the steam it produced. All the while I listened to A Tribe Called Quest, “Stressed Out”. And hearing there lyrics and Faiths’ vocals really made me feel better. A hot, steamy shower is also the resolution to a long day. But it wasn’t enough to ease my mind.

I laid there for two hours. Every envision and thought that rammed through my head was followed by another thought. Endlessly. My mind was jumping hurdle after hurdle. I had exhausted myself to a point of annoyance. So I sat up and I prayed. And continued to pray. Eventually I placed my head on the pillow but I didn’t stop. I continued praying. I suppose then and there God decided to give my mind a break. And I dozed off and welcomed this morning. This day.

My solution was there all along, where it’s been all these years. Peace.