Monday, May 30, 2016

My Restless Mind

I am such an emotional being. It's as if my mind has a heart of its own. It speaks what it feels and it doesn't hesitate to think twice about it. And then after one good night of sleep, it resets itself. Come dawn, it's a new day, new feelings towards yesterday's thoughts. I always contradict myself. I may love you today but not tonight. Just give it till tomorrow. . . Let me sleep it off and I'll love you again. I'm undeniably a terrible human being.

I remember a friend of mine would always say, "Heck, I don't lose sleep over it so I know it doesn't matter to me." And it's those haunting thoughts you stress over, that keep you up at night, those are the things/people you should let go of. It doesn't do you any good to weight down your mind with such unsettling thoughts. How does it go again? Out of sight, out of mind? What's there is there and sometimes you can't make it go away; you just have to find a way to live with it or without it.

At times what a person needs is reassurance. I want to be sure I'm what you want for the rest of your life. And I've never been the type to fantasize over expensive weddings. Give me your heart and your honesty and that alone is bigger than marriage. Way bigger than any diamond ring or phony proposal. At the end of the day, our days, I want to be sure we made the right choices for ourselves and our family. Nothing else matters. Nothing.

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